My roots have been in Oregon since the day I was born. I can't remember the exact day I smoked weed for the first time, but it was sometime around my sophomore or junior year of high school. My friends and I were standing by this old oak tree, about 20 yards south of our community basketball court. The "pipe" was a piece from metals class with a hose nozzle attached. It was a makeshift disaster, but like many things in my life, it still worked—and got me high.
My relationship with weed has been complicated. Depression was part of it, and weed became tangled in that mess. After that first time, I smoked as often as I could, even when it wasn't legal in Oregon. I have a friend who loves weed more than anyone I know. In some ways, he influenced me to become the stoner I am today.
At a certain point, I started smoking to avoid reality. I had a system for getting through my teens: get high, play video games, and sleep as much as possible. It was my escape. I’m not going too in-depth with my depression now, but as much fun as I was having, there was also a part of me that was deeply depressed—a part that wanted to die, that avoided pain and sadness by numbing out and disengaging from life. It’s sad to think about. But here I am, writing this, and yeah, I’m high. Even if it’s not the healthiest coping mechanism, it’s still a coping mechanism, and it’s kept me going.
The other day, my friend said something that made me think: what's the difference between me getting flower for my medicine and someone else going to a pharmacy for theirs? We all know the literal reasons, Mr. Republican, but the point is—this is our medicine. Maybe it’s not perfect, and maybe neither am I, but it works, at least for now.
I still smoke too much. Let me rephrase: as of today, I definitely smoke too much. But here we are, on the other side, starting a company, and that’s something. This might be more of a free-write than an actual first blog post, but it’s honest. At some point, I’ll do some CBT and talk about how without weed, I wouldn’t be alive today.
I'm going to get back to building this site. I’m not a designer, so sorry if it sucks at first, but I’m trying. And that’s what matters.